Something I Didn't Say
by Oyuki
Summary: Depressed and alone, Heero wanders into a dingy bar one night only to have memories of things left unsaid assault him. IC.


Disclaimer: I don't own Mobile Suit Gundam Wing. It belongs to Bandai and Sotsu Agency and other Japanese companies I don't care to name. The song, "Was it Something I Didn't Say" belongs to 98° and Motown and to whoever else was involved in the makin go it. I don't make money. Don't sue.  
  
AN: My first GW fic EVER! I'm so very proud of this one. Yeah. I've been told it was in character so I'm very proud of it. A big huge thanks to Zapenstap for editing. THANK YOU! Oh, not all the lyrics of the song appeared. Only the ones that I thought portrayed Heeros' emotions.  
  
Something I Didn't Say  
  
He had never been one to frequent these places. He didn't know what he was doing here. It was pointless. He didn't even drink, but here he was in a bar called "Tootsie's" in a small town called Crockett in the middle of nowhere. It really wasn't his scene. It was smelly, and his eyes stung from the smoke in the room. The bartender approached him.   
  
"What can I get you son?"   
  
He thought for a moment. He really didn't know what to order so he said the first thing that popped into his head, "Tequila shot." He smirked a little, smug with this absurdity.   
  
The bartender smiled slightly and said, "Isn't that a bit strong for you, son?"   
  
He looked at the bartender and gave him on of his infamous death glares (TM).   
  
"All right, son. I'll get you your tequila," he said as he walked away smiling.   
  
He waited for the bartender to bring him his drink. Then he thought of her. He hated thinking of her. He loved her, but thinking of her made him hurt. It reminded him that his heart was broken, that he would never be able to fit the pieces back together. It made him think of things that were pleasant, but the memories were bittersweet, more bitter than sweet.   
  
_Spending another night alone_  
  
"Relena." He sighed her name. The bartender came back and placed a shot glass in front of him. Heero watched as the tequila was poured into the shot glass from the bottle, along with a sliced lime. The bartender lingered there for a moment. "Thanks," Heero murmured, hoping that this bartender wasn't' like the ones in those corny movies. You know, the ones that listen to your problems and suddenly shine a light in your dark world. The bartender walked away to help another customer. Good, he wouldn't bother him. He thought back to happier times. Times spent with her...   
  
He remembered the last time he had been her date at a party. She had looked beautiful in her white silk gown. She'd had her hair pulled away from her face with a diamond studded head band, her hair in little ringlets bobbing around her cheeks. He had not seen her for four years, yet her memory burned brightly, like the sun in his heart and mind. That night she'd told him she loved him, that she couldn't live without him. And he'd told her that he was her body guard, that his job was to protect her. She had looked down and walked to where her brother was standing, but not before he saw the disappointment in her blue eyes. He really didn't see her need to tell him she loved him every five minutes. He already knew, for God's sake! 

__

I should have told you how I felt

Instead I kept it to myself   
  
He didn't know what to do with the tequila, but he took a sip from the shot glass. It was disgusting. He swallowed the rest and then bit into the lime. Better.   
  
The next few days after his encounter with Relena were more of the same. She found every opportunity to try and persuade him to tell her he loved her, but he wouldn't budge. 

__

All those times, all those nights when I had the chance to 

He always kept her at arm's length. He wouldn't let her get close. He kept the wall around his heart for what seemed like an eternity to her. Until one day, six months after the encounter...   
  
"Do you love me?" she had asked one day out of the blue raising her head from a pile of paperwork she had been working on. 

__

Always assumed that you'd be there

"Please tell me. Now," her voice shook a little with the words. "There's no one around, nobody will hear you. I'll even pretend that you didn't say it if you want, but please tell me you love me!" Relena pleaded with him. She had sounded desperate, but he hadn't paid any attention to her desperation. He had simply made a noise in the back of his throat and continued reading. 

__

Couldn't foresee the day you'd ever be leaving me

She'd hung her head in defeat and continued with her paperwork. How he wished he had listened to her!   
  
The Peacecraft family was having a party, but this time he wasn't going as Relena's date, only as her bodyguard. All the rich, aristocratic families and allies had been invited. People from all over the world and the colonies. Even the Gundam pilots had been invited. Relena had worn an off-white silk dress that complimented her creamy skin. Silk. She always wore silk; silk was what a real princess wore. She had looked radiant. He remembered how he had sat at his table with all of his friends and their girlfriends and how everyone had admired her. 

__

I guess you never had a clue, till it was too late

You walked away

There was no woman who could compare to her. He knew, in that instant, that he loved her. That he wanted to be with her forever. He would tell her so tonight. He was finally going to say the words she'd longed to hear for such a long time. 

__

The words were in my heart  
  
Minutes after his realization, Milliardo had gotten up to the podium and asked for everyone's attention. "Ladies and gentlemen, My sister, Relena, and I have asked you here tonight for a very important announcement." Milliardo looked at Relena, who was smiling brightly at him. "Two weeks ago, Quatre approached me with a request, and in response I said to him, 'It's up to my sister, Quatre.' So, we patiently waited, and my sister gave her response last night. So, ladies and gentlemen, tonight I'm proud to announce the engagement of my little sister, Relena Peacecraft, and Quatre Raberba Winner..."   
  
_They went unspoken_  
  
He closed his eyes at the pain the memory brought back. He had stopped listening after that. He felt like someone had punched him, that the air had been knocked out of his lungs; he couldn't breathe. 

__

Baby now my silent heart, is a heart that's broken

He had cried that night, and the Perfect Soldier never cried. So, now here he was, in a bar with an empty shot glass, and he ordered another.   
  
Four years ago, that had been four years ago. He hadn't seen her since. He had left, had known that he would not be needed anymore because Quatre was an ex-Gundam pilot too and could take care of her. Afterward, he knew why she had been so desperate in her pleas. She had given her agreement about the engagement to Zechs when she had left her study.   
  
_Should've let you know, you're the one I need near me_  
  
He didn't know why he was thinking about this now. It had been four years ago, but he couldn't forget her. He had even gone to the wedding, but he'd stood silently in the back. Just watching.   
  
_But I never let you hear me _

  
He took another shot. _  
_  
_Something I didn't say_  
  
The End.   
  
It's done. Please let me know if it's good or bad or what! It's my first attempt at a fic and I had intended this to be a Zechs+Noin fic, but then I thought more and wrote Heero+Relena. 


End file.
